Having recently struggled with an ant problem, I think I may be drawn metaphysically to them. What's more, I think they have it out for me.
I had just bought a tuna sandwich and was looking for a quiet and shaded place to eat. I looked out over the entire common area just outside the building where my classroom is. There was one spot that called out to me and I sunk into it so comfortably that I kicked my feet up, got situated and started digging in to the delicious pepperoncini, spinach, and olive filled snack.
Then I felt a tickle on my back. An ant. I quickly killed it and continued on. Another ant. Kill it. Move on. And another... and another.
I got up and looked behind me to find the biggest line of marching ant I've ever seen. I brought my legs in and nearly fell with panic, and in the confusion of it all, sat in a small puddle of tuna salad mush that I dropped.
Now and for the rest of the day, my ass smells like tuna. I only hope I don't have the telltale shit-colored tuna stain back there to stand as evidence. I'll only find out after I get home. There are no mirrors that I can maneuver to ass level so that I can be sure.
